Saturday, August 23, 2014

Inaugural.

It is cold and rainy outside and I have a fire going in the fireplace, and it's one of those Duraflame logs so I'll be up all night waiting for this thing to die out so I can go to sleep. I really should be out tonight. No, really: I had plans to sing some karaoke with a few of my girl friends tonight, but I'm not feeling great, so I opted to stay home. Now I'm on my couch, watching this fire more than actually feeling it (my fireplace is more decorative than functional), drinking decaf coffee, half-watching some show on Netflix in which people are solving crimes. My bunnies, Robert and Angel, are around here somewhere, probably hanging out under a chair, waiting for the room to get darker so they can come out and do their nocturnal binkies. When they do come out, I will take pictures of them, and each of those pictures will be too dark and I will curse my inability to take good pictures, but post said pictures to Facebook and Instagram anyway. Later on, I will read from two or three different books, and I will get a strange joy from wearing my reading glasses because they make me feel smart, even though its the actual book I'm reading that contributes to the brainpower while the glasses are just a stereotype I like to cling to.

I feel like I'm new at everything. I just bought myself a DSLR camera, and I'm learning how to use it, which is something entirely separate from learning how to take good photographs, which is something else I'm new at. I'm new at blogging, though I've had a few false starts over the years. I'm new at independence, even though it was over a year ago that my marriage ended and I moved into my own place and became a single mom. I'm new at comfort, specifically comfort in my own skin, and comfort in the way I carry myself and how I dress and present myself to the world. I'm new at waitressing, a job that I love so much that I have to remind myself that I don't want to do this forever.

I don't like to compare life to a journey, but it is a bit of a trek, and I'm just trudging along some days, while other days, I glide as if on ice. I just want to write about every step, all the good and the bad, and take some terrible photos that will eventually improve in quality (I hope), and make something good out of all this work. There will be a lot of talk about my bunnies, my fashion choices, and my attempts to find happiness in what we consider to be very small. I am terrified. That's how I know I'm doing the right thing. :)



4 comments:

  1. You now have the hardest step behind you... the first one. I know it's cliche', but it really is tough to just DO the damn thing. I look forward to reading more posts and seeing where this takes you. We are all on the same trek in one way or another and it helps to know that we are not alone. So, congrats!! And, thank you :)

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  2. Thank you! It feels good to finally jump in, after so much hesitation. :)

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  3. Just wanted to let you know I love reading your writing! Looking forward to more posts and photos :-D

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  4. Thank you so much, Tana! I will be posting at least three times a week; I'm having way too much fun with this! :)

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