Monday, September 29, 2014

Tattoos!

So, it has been brought to my attention that I have tattoos.



Well. I am appalled and bewildered! How did this happen? I tried scrubbing them off with soap and water, but that didn't work. It looks like I am stuck with this art on my arm! I suppose I should just learn to accept it, right?



It's okay, because honestly, I really love my tattoos. I even have others that aren't readily visible, that are just for me to enjoy. Tattoos are no rare thing; I know more people with ink than without, and it has become much more mainstream and acceptable than it once was. Even so, I get a lot of questions and concerns about my tattoos, which I'd like to address here. 

What is the meaning behind your tattoos?
Each of the tattoos on my arm have incredible significance! One of the tattoos has a map hidden within the linework that leads to an amazing treasure trunk filled with gold and rubies and iPods; the other tattoo contains the combination to the lock on that treasure trunk! Also, my address is in there somewhere, in case I get lost and need to be sent home.

Did it hurt?
It did. It still does. Sometimes, I wonder if it will ever stop hurting. Oh, wait, that's something else I'm thinking of. Nevermind.

Aren't tattoos really expensive?
They can be, but not if you know how to find a bargain! I got my work done by a random stranger who was hanging out next to a dumpster behind a bar. I gave him ten bucks and a permanent marker, and voila! Body art for cheap! 

What will you do when you get old and your skin starts to sag and it doesn't look as good?
I'll probably go on a cruise, maybe take up bridge or knitting. 

How do you hide something like that?
Well, that is a tough one, but I've worked some things out! Sometimes, I just keep my bare arm forward. It can be awkward when navigating a crowd, but in a pinch, it works!


My hand can cover most of it, and if I look uncomfortable, most people won't ask about it:



I find that if I hold a guitar, people will assume that I'm a musician, and my tattoos suddenly make a lot more sense:


Long sleeves work, too, though they can be really hard to find and prohibitively expensive:




Don't you think you'll regret that someday?
No! No. Probably not. I don't think so. I mean...maybe not. No. Well, no one told me they would be permanent, and I did use the "eenie, meenie, miney, moe" method to choose them about ten minutes before getting them done, so I suppose the possibility of regret is pretty high. 

Ha! Of course I won't regret my tattoos! This was not a decision I made lightly. I spent years deliberating before making a final choice, and I'm very happy with the choices that I made.


I love the way my tattoos look and they make me feel like a badass, and when it comes to my body, my opinion is the only one that matters. And hey, that's the truth for everybody and every body: your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters! So get a tattoo if you want one or keep your body tattoo-free, it's all good! Unless you're a musician, then the tattoos are mandatory. I'm sorry, I don't make the rules. 

For the curious: So, I didn't pay a dumpster stranger to do my tattoos. They were actually done by Bill Lahr at Bill's Tattoo and More. The artwork is originally from Liz Clements, an artist in the UK. My black tank and my red hoodie are both from Target. The guitar belongs to my boyfriend, who left it behind when he moved to Missouri. I can't play at all, not even a little bit. :)











Friday, September 26, 2014

Friday Upgrade: Pinwheels!

I'm terrible at accessorizing. Part of my problem is that I'm lazy; I try to lift my hands as little as possible, and putting clothes on is tough work as it is. I do love the idea of accessories, though, which is why I keep buying them. I have a massive jewelry box filled with glitter and sparkle, but I never wear any of it. My daughter has adopted some of it and my son likes to use it as fishing lures sometimes, but other than that, it just sits there. I have hope that someday I will be able to make sense of my huge stash of unworn jewelry, but in the meantime, why not try an upgrade?



I am a sucker for whimsical sorts of things, so when I saw these pinwheel earrings on the front desk clerk at a local law office, I had to get a pair! Turns out, the woman wearing the earrings made them herself, and was more than happy to sell me a pair for the awesome price of four whole dollars. 






I loved the shape and size of these earrings and the fact that they were handmade by a very nice random stranger, but I wasn't crazy about the print, so I never wore them. I feel like the pinwheels are cutesy enough without the added effect of a cutesy floral print. They sat on my dresser for months, and I knew they would continue to sit there, so I went ahead and bastardized them with a few coats of gold nail polish.





Much better! I might actually wear these earrings now! They almost look like a flower instead of a pinwheel, but I think I'm okay with that. I just hope the lady who sold them to me won't be mad if she sees what I've done...

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

A Whole Month!

It has been a month since I began this blogging thing, and I must say, it has been fantastic so far! This blog has gone viral, receiving a billion hits a day! I can't go grocery shopping without droves of people stopping me to ask why I'm not wearing black or dinosaur stickers! Oprah calls nonstop, and let's not even talk about the paparazzi! It's okay though; I am slowly adjusting to my new life of fame and fortune and glamour.






In all seriousness, this blog has been incredible fun to write, and I have truly loved doing it. A month may not seem like a celebration-worthy amount of time, but for me, it is huge. The first month is just the first step, the first bit of proof that I can do whatever I set out to do, as long as I work my ass off and am unafraid to look stupid once in a while. The support I have received has been overwhelming and humbling. I would write this blog even if no one read it or liked it, but the fact that there are people who do both makes me feel like I can lift tractors while wearing wedges. It is a great feeling.


So, here's to the first month down, and to many, many more in the future! I have big, fun plans for this space, and I can't wait to get started. Thank you for being a part of this with me. :)

For the curious: The photos for this post were taken by Sabrina Coleman, and all details for clothing can be found here.

Monday, September 22, 2014

Getting out of a makeup rut!

Sometime during my early twenties, I settled into a makeup rut and haven't moved out of it since. I always go for the same look: slightly shimmery neutrals with an occasional cat-eye. I have decided it's time for a change, time to step outside of my comfort zone and get a new perspective on makeup. So, I called in an expert to teach me a thing or two!


I've seen what this guy can do with crayons, so I just had to see what he could do with makeup! He's got six years of life experience and I'm half certain he has seen me do my own makeup at least once, so he's more than qualified to be my makeup artist. He started with a bold red lip shade, after holding the lipstick tube up and asking, "Is this for your eyes?" He made sure to push extra hard, "Just to get it all in there."


Next up, he brushed a shimmery green shade onto my eyelids and topped it with a glittery blue. He said he chose the colors because they reminded him of his favorite slugs on Slugterra, which happens to be his favorite show.


For the final touch, he highlighted my cheekbones with some pink cream blush, making sure to get the entire cheek, not just some of the cheek.


After finishing my cheeks, he declared himself bored and therefore, finished, and offered me a mirror to see his amazing work!


This little guy is a genius! He brought out my inner beauty in a way no one else ever could! This is a look that says, "I have a face! LOOK AT MY FACE!" 










This look might also say, "Are you sure you're okay to drive?" but it's so much fun that it doesn't matter. My makeup artist was pretty pleased with his work, too! 


What an awesome professional. I'd share his contact information here, but he's booked solid for the next twelve years.

For the curious: My son used Sephora shadows for my eyes, Maybelline Master Glaze in Pink Fever for my cheeks, and Wet n Wild Purty Persimmon on my lips. When I asked him about his techniques, he said, quite simply, "Just put the stuff on your face, duh." My stripey sequined top is from Anthropologie.com, and Ryan's shirt is from his grandma, who really gets his sense of style. :)

Friday, September 19, 2014

Friday Upgrade: I didn't want a dress, anyway!

 Ugh, this dress is so awesome. It's a great shape and it fits me perfectly, and the print is modern and funky and fun. Looks good, right?



It was one of my favorites, but then it betrayed me...


Yep, that's a massive rip in the back. I think it happened when I was in a mosh pit at the symphony.  It's alright, though. It's cool. See, I didn't really want a dress anyway. I already have cute dresses; this one was just cluttering my closet. What I really need is another cute skirt to clutter up my closet. So I decided to turn this great dress into an even better skirt, and somehow, it worked!


This was the easiest refashion EVER. I just used a seam ripper to remove the top from the bottom and cut the zipper short. It took me an entire twenty minutes to finish! But then I pulled the zipper pull off of the zipper and spent at least three hours trying to reattach it. I may have cried and I may have bloody fingertips right now, but it was totally worth it! Extra good news: the skirt looks even cuter in the wind! But then again, what doesn't?



I'm seriously bemused by how well this little project turned out. Sewing is a bit of a mystery to me. I wish there were books or video tutorials or something to help me learn more, but sadly, I'm just too impatient to acknowledge the existence of such things. I just have to jump in and try and pout a little when I fail. So, when something like this goes the way I think it should go, I'm left to ponder...why?



Pondering looks a lot like modeling. Cute necklace, right? 

For the curious: The dress was part of the Prabal Gurung for Target line a couple of years ago. It was a great dress while it lasted. My black and white heels are from Modcloth.com. My white tank is also from Target. The cardigan looks red in the photos but is more of an orange hue, and I found it at Old Navy. My necklace is a bunch of stars (!) and I regret not getting a better picture up. It came from H&M about two years ago. The fuschia wedges are Nine West, and yes, they are the very same shoes from yesterday's post. I've decided to make them my new everyday shoes. Winter is going to be awesome. :)

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Reading is Fundamental!

Sometimes, when I'm not taking selfies or obsessing over shoes, I like to read. I'm a book fanatic, and tend to read three or four at once. Reading inspires me and makes me feel super smart, especially when I'm wearing my reading glasses. Right now I have a stack of about ten books on my coffee table, but I'm concentrating on three titles. First up, there is Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay.


Did I mention I prefer to dress like the books I'm reading?  I'm not ashamed to say that I bought this shirt a good month before getting my hands on the book. Bad Feminist is a book of essays about being an imperfect feminist, and being okay with that. I happen to be a feminist who loves clothes and makeup and fashion magazines, so I feel like this book really speaks to me and my imperfect, but still feminist, ways.

I'm also reading Front Row: Anna Wintour: The Cool Life and Hot Times of Vogue's Editor in Chief, written by Jerry Oppenheimer.


 


This one is a bit of a guilty pleasure, one of those books that I read in the bathtub. It's an unauthorized biography of the notoriously icy Anna Wintour. Did you ever see the movie The Devil Wears Prada? It's one of my favorites, and the mean boss, Miranda, is partially based on Anna Wintour. I just like reminders that, though my life isn't particularly glamorous, at least I'm likable.

I'm also indulging in some great fiction, the novel Delicious! by Ruth Reichl.





















I have read a few of Ruth Reichl's memoirs, and count her among my favorite writers. Her writing centers around food: incredible, gourmet food, food I've never eaten, food that I didn't even know was food. This novel is set in New York City where the main character, Billie, is a new assistant at the culinary magazine, Delicious!, where she eats food and talks about how amazing the food is, which makes me want to eat food, too. Food and books. Books and fashion. Fashion and food. Yes, yes, and yes. :)

For the curious: My Bad Feminist tee was purchased from Teespring. The white button up in the Anna Wintour photo is Banana Republic, the skirt is Elie Tahari, purchased from 6pm.com, and the fuschia wedges are Nine West, an awesome find from the Goodwill in Bozeman, MT. My floral peplum top in the final photos is from Anthropologie.com, the black cardigan is from The Limited, the jeans are JCPenney, and the flats are Cole Haan.


Monday, September 15, 2014

Lazy Monday!

Do you ever get tired? I don't! I'm always up, always excited, always full of energy and exclamation points! My spirit animal is the cheerleader! I leap out of bed in the morning with jazz hands, and I ride a rainbow to work! But sometimes, I like to change things up a little and stay on my couch. All. Day. Long. But not because I'm tired, oh no! I just like the look of my couch!














I think of my fluffy, cushy, comfy couch as an accessory, the perfect backdrop for my casual cotton top and sweat socks. Throw on no makeup and do absolutely nothing with the hair, and it's a classic easy look!


See how well I mix my stripes? And the blue and black on the pillows look awesome next to my face! And I'm not zoning out, I'm just...modeling.




I know how this looks, but I'm not taking a nap! This is just me, doing casual right! I don't do anything halfway; twenty minutes with my face firmly planted into that pillow, and I'll have the most amazing creases on my face, taking my matching stripes to a whole new level. I should patent this method...

For the curious: My striped top is Jones New York, bought online from 6pm.com. The jeans are the same JCPenney brand jeans that appear over and over throughout my posts. I love them. I sleep in them. I shower in them. I am one with the jeans. The socks are Hanes ankle socks, and the pillows came with the couch, where I never, ever, ever sleep. 

Friday, September 12, 2014

Friday Upgrade: Hair!

I knew it was time to cut my hair because the day before I made the appointment, I bought a ton of hair ties and clips and bobby pins. I'm a big fan of wasting money, so it was a logical step: Buy all the long-hair accouterments, and then immediately pay someone to cut your hair off. Besides, this look has been a couple of years in the making, as I have had some extreme hair changes and have been missing my natural blond for a while. Here's a short pictorial history of my hair over the last two years:
Step One: Natural color!
Step Two: Red! And yellow, and orange!



Step Three: A more normal red! And my good friend Sam!
Step Four: Blond/orange/red/yellow and fried!
I loved the red, but I hated the maintenance, and honestly, I feel the most like myself as a blonde. So I grew out the dyed hair, hid behind the popular ombre trend for a while, and then chopped it all off. This is what I consider a serious upgrade: 


Oh, yes! It's good to be me again! My new/old hair gives me such great confidence! It makes me want to put on a pretty dress and hit the town! How about some karaoke?

This song is a classic!


Ah, a nice quiet song for a nice quiet night. (Many thanks to Tyson Habein for taking this photo!)  Exciting things happen when you cut all your hair off! How about a friendly slap fight with a mustachioed man in a kilt?




There is nothing quite so invigorating as a good slap fight! You can't see it in the photos, but that man is wearing the heck out of an awesome kilt! That's my friend Tim, and he is in the process of opening his own kilt shop, which will be an amazing addition to our humble little town. And don't worry, we made nice eventually.



And what night out would be complete without the best friend?


Ah, she is so good to me, and so very tolerant of my weird, weird ways. This was a fantastic night, the best time I've had in a long time. I don't know if it was the drag queens, or the huge crowd, or the men in kilts, or the pirates, or the slap fights, or my new haircut that made it so great, but I like to think it was a little bit of everything. Part of me likes to think my new 'do brought everything else about. Yes! Maybe?

A quick note: My insanely talented friend Phil Procopio is responsible for the amazing red, orange, and yellow hair, as well as the makeup and the photograph. Phil gets credit for the hair, makeup, and photography for the Step One photo as well. :)

For the curious: My dress is from eShakti, semi-custom made for me months and months ago. My ballet flats are Lucky brand, purchased on clearance from Zappos.com. They are a curious shade of blurple: they appear blue in some kinds of light and purple in other kinds of light, but they are always awesome. Here is a (marginally) better picture of both the shoes and the dress:

I can't control my lips. They just do that, no matter what. ;)