Tuesday, September 2, 2014

The REAL reason you can't wear white after Labor Day.

I learned about the "don't wear white after Labor Day" rule from the movie Serial Mom, in which Beverly Sutphin kills a woman who dares to wear white shoes after Labor Day. I didn't understand it, but I figured that if a fictional character would murder another fictional character over this sort of thing, there must be a good reason for this rule. Well, I decided to stop living in fear and to reject this stupid rule. Check me out, wearing white after Labor Day! I defy the universe! Just try and stop me!

It was great at first; white is so neutral, so freeing! Look how it makes my pink sneakers pop! I look like I'm going to a party at P. Diddy's house! (Do we still call him P. Diddy?)  But after a moment, I started to feel something different...
It started as a slight tingle on my skin.  Then it felt a little more intense, more painful. Then I realized my skin was burning! It BURNS! The white burns! I had to get this stuff off me before it seared the flesh right off my bones! 

So, there you go, the real reason you can't wear white after Labor Day: It will burn you! After I ran away from that shirt, it burst into flames. This is not just a stupid fashion rule, this is a matter of personal safety! DO NOT wear white after Labor Day, you guys!

For the curious: The white button-up is from Banana Republic, and you will be seeing it again and again, burns or not. ;) The jeans are from Target, and I've had them since the dawn of time, it seems. The camisole is Old Navy, and the sneakers are Superga in Azalea. 

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